Should you share a bed with your partner?

A ‘sleep divorce’ could help you improve the quality of your rest

Most couples who live together share a bed every night. Many people associate separate beds with relationship issues or the beginning of the end. But, in fact, a growing number of couples are finding that sleeping in separate beds is actually strengthening the bond they share with their partner.

Last year, a survey of 1,000 British adults found that more than half of us have resorted to sleeping in a different bed or room to get a better night’s sleep. The phenomenon is particularly common among women.

So, is sleeping in separate beds the best thing for your sleep? We’re breaking down the issue.

Should you sleep separately?

There are a lot of stigmas attached to sleeping separately. However, it’s important to remember that being compatible in a relationship and being compatible in sleep preferences are two very different things. It’s worth bearing in mind that if creating a personalised sleep environment with minimal noise or disruption helps you wake in a brighter, better mood then it may well be a good thing for you and your partner.

There are, of course, many things we can do to improve our sleep – drinking less caffeine, reducing screen time, winding down before bed – but when the issue isn’t your sleep, a sleep divorce might be the way forward.

The right sleep environment is different for all of us. According to chief science officer at Resilient Nutrition, Dr Greg Potter, says some people benefit from sharing a bed due to “feelings of intimacy and security.” People who enjoy sharing a bed “might fall asleep faster and wake less frequently at night.” However, for some, sharing a bed means more noise and movement to contend with.

A lot of couples have very different sleep patterns – one may be a night owl while the other enjoys an early night – and this can cause you to miss out on REM sleep. Long term sleep deprivation can make both partners frustrated, exhausted and irritable.

Partners can disrupt each other’s sleep in many ways, including:

• Loud snoring
• Being a restless sleeper
• Different temperature preferences
• Different schedules and sleep cycles

Improving your sleep while still sharing a bed

If a sleep divorce isn’t right for you, there are many ways to improve your sleep quality while still sharing a bed with your partner. Firstly, consider investing in more space. A bigger mattress means you can still enjoy nightly quality time with your partner while also having enough room to sleep in comfort.

You should also take steps to improve any sleep disorders that could be disturbing your rest, such as snoring. If your partner snores, it could be the result of a wider issue like night-time allergies or obstructive sleep apnoea. White noise machines or earplugs can help reduce sound disturbances, while anti-allergy tablets, nasal strips and sleeping on your side can help to reduce the snoring itself.

Communication is key when it comes to healthy sleep and a healthy relationship. Talk about what kind of sleep works best for you – including temperature, times, cuddling and more. That way, you can work together to come up with solutions that suit you both. If one partner is always cold, make sure to keep extra blankets handy. If one partner goes to bed earlier and doesn’t want to be disturbed, invest in an eye mask and ear plugs.

Simple changes can make a big difference when it comes to both your sleep and the sleep health of your partner.

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